It's always easy to blame external circumstances when you get stopped 'your manager, lack of time, traffic, a change in the market... But if anything really stops you short in life, it's more likely to be a self-limiting belief: a thought about yourself, reinforced by emotion. An event occurred. You drew a conclusion about it and absorbed it emotionally. This is because people are 'meaning-making' machines; we try to give meaning to everything, even things we really know nothing about!
We all have our own rich and personal history of events - from parents, educators, our culture, gender and work experience - and, as a result, we've developed our own unique perspectives on the world and ourselves. Each of us creates a unique map of what the world is like and how we fit in to it. Before long, we're on autopilot, with these now-subconscious beliefs guiding our actions in life. Many of these beliefs help to sustain us in life, but others don't - they limit us and our ability to lead a happy and fulfilling life.
What About At Work?
When it comes to working life, it is our self-limiting beliefs which affect whether we are successful and the organization we work in is a satisfying place to be. Here are some common self-limiting beliefs:
1. I am not skilled enough.
2. You can't trust anybody.
3. Hard work is noble.
4. Fulfilling work is for others, not me.
5. Fulfillment comes from my personal life, not my work life.
6. I'm too old to make major changes to the way I work.
7. My family and friends will think I'm crazy.
8. I'm a fraud - my success is a result of the corporate structure.
9. The unknown isn't safe.
10. I'm not sure that I can trust my decisions or choices.
11. I'm afraid of failing.
12. It's a dog-eat-dog world.
Your beliefs stay with you for three primary reasons:
First, you label them. ("I'm no good at business finance. Nobody in my family can do maths.") Labeling beliefs and focusing on where they come from helps you rationalize them and make them okay.
Then you engage in selective data gathering. You seek out evidence to support your beliefs and ignore evidence that would support the opposite belief. ("I made a mess of the budget presentation - everyone else was so confident")
Finally, you disguise them - sugar-coat them - to make them more palatable. They become an ego advantage. For example, "I'm not good at finance..." can become "I'm just the intellectual type" - a more empowering belief (for you) which could aid, but is actually more likely to limit your career.
What are the Effects of Self-Limiting Beliefs?
The consequence of holding these beliefs is that you limit what is possible in your own performance. At work, and especially if you are in an influential senior position, you ultimately limit what the organization is capable of achieving. If you manage other people, you may tend to buy in to their self-limiting beliefs - where you are in the grip of a dis-empowering belief about yourself, you are unlikely to be the kind of coach who will inspire others to go beyond their own limitations.
But Aren't We Stuck With Our Beliefs?
Beliefs can be changed. While beliefs feel very real to the believer, they are not absolute - they are a learned frame of reference. When you have a genuine willingness to replace a belief with something new and empowering, it is entirely possible to do just that (see some suggestions below).
Throughout your lifetime, your beliefs change continually. Beliefs that you once thought to be immutable cease to be true. Take the example of Roger Bannister who, in 1957, became the first athlete to break the four-minute barrier for running a mile. Before this, it was conventional wisdom* that a sub-four-minute mile was impossible. But that same year, sixteen other athletes also ran a mile in less than four minutes. They didn't become superhuman overnight - their beliefs changed.
Like those milers, business people have their own unique sets of beliefs, some of which limit their potential. For instance, during a recession, the members of a sales force may all believe that strong sales are impossible. But if just one person increases their sales, what seemed an inevitable fact will suddenly appear more like a thin excuse for poor performance.
The organization with the ability to overcome the variety of self-limiting mental models in the minds of its workforce - including its leaders - will be the organization that wins in the future. It is for this reason that in our organization development work we start by looking in depth at the fundamental beliefs and values of the organization's leaders.
You need to create an organization culture in which the 'can do - will do' mentality thrives and becomes the norm. In this type of culture, success and achievement are expected, and as a consequence are much more likely to happen - and you can only create a culture like this if you have tackled and conquered your own personal self-limiting beliefs.
How To Change Beliefs
Here are 4 steps to help you re-frame your limiting beliefs.
1. Clearly identify your belief and your genuine desire to change it.
2. Create a new, empowering belief that supports the results you want.
3. Role-model your new belief daily. Get feedback from those around you on your behavior.
4. Acknowledge old emotions and behaviors when they inevitably occur. Without reprimanding yourself, simply focus on the new belief, and again adopt behavior consistent with it.
Let's take "I'm not skilled enough".
Your re-framing must:
- Be stated in the present tense (I am, I know, I respect...)
- Be respectful (It empowers you)
- Be spoken as certainty (No cans or maybes)
- Include abundance (No limits, caps)
- Strike an emotional chord with you
Here are two possible empowering statements: "I have a good skill set - and I'm honest about my limitations and keen to learn more." Or, "I am learning new skills every day, and am proud of my tenacity and enthusiasm".
At Shine Consulting, we work with leaders who are consciously engaged in designing their organizations to be places where people:
- are consistently passionate, inspired and committed
- produce results well beyond the predictable norm
In short, organizations that really shine!
